


Ten effective ways to spend the quarantine

by ChocoNut



Series: Modern JB love [63]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jaime can be quite mean, Jealous Jaime Lannister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27489592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: During the lock-down, Brienne stumbles upon a list prepared by Jaime.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: Modern JB love [63]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557871
Comments: 29
Kudos: 108





	Ten effective ways to spend the quarantine

**Ten effective ways to spend the quarantine**

The big heading in bold intrigued her, but in spite of the itch to read further, Brienne hesitated, to go on or not, to pry on something Jaime had forgotten, the biggest question. She put it away where she’d found it, but the enticing sheet of paper invited her, teased her self-control, a small naughty voice inside her telling her the contents didn’t sound that personal. And if it did happen to be private, Jaime wouldn’t leave it lying around so carelessly.

She picked it up again. If she told him later, it wouldn’t count as cheating, surely.

_1\. Insult Renly as much as you can in the presence of the wench—_

_Wait, what?_

She went back, re-read to make sure she absorbed it right. And sure enough, there it was, Jaime’s dislike for her ex-crush laid out on paper.

_—at every opportunity you find. While that may not work in itself to change her opinion about him, it’ll certainly boost your morale, push you to move to the next step._

Brienne paused again in disbelief. Idle mind, it was said, was the devil’s workshop, but for someone to get into such depth of their grudge against another, it had to take a lot more than free time indoors. Nevertheless, she decided to read on, to find out if the whole story was how to get the better of Renly or if the list housed anything at all useful.

 _2._ _Ask your friends to chip in whenever you have a get-together. A zoom session where Bronn kills the pretty boy with his petty tongue, unleashing his very best on the unsuspecting idiot—is it not an immensely rewarding way to spend time? You’d be a total jerk if you do that, but yes, it would be totally worth it._

Now it made sense—all the teasing, all the ganging-up. Brienne looked back at how poor Renly had stopped logging in after a while after this mistreatment. Such horrible conspiring against one in a group she’d only come across on TV.

Her distaste growing, she went on.

_3\. After he’s done consulting Sansa for gift suggestions for Brienne, stage a loud conversation with Bronn and Tyrion. Announce at the top of your voice that these shoes aren’t what she’s looking for._

“But I did want that pair for my birthday!” Brienne grumbled. What had landed at her doorstep, instead, was a hideous pink dress he’d ordered from a premium online store. How much she’d complained about his taste then! But then, how could she have guessed it wasn’t the unsuspecting Renly’s fault but the handiwork of this intricately executed foul play? 

_4._ _Whenever Renly sends out texts making plans to call her, put on a theatrical act and feign some illness—a stomach ache, probably? Something so fucking excruciating that it needs her intervention to accompany you to the doctor. And considering how scared you are to visit a doctor, she’s bound to make sure you do make it there._

Those numerous trips, she’d never forget. Of course, it hadn’t struck her then that his _pain_ had automatically subsided the moment they stepped into the consultation room.

_5\. Delete Renly’s contact details from her phone when she’s not looking. She’ll fret. She’ll fume, for minutes, only, before she retrieves it, but it’s a small victory, nevertheless. And abundantly satisfying._

What the hell? And she’d thought she’d messed up in her new phone that night, blaming it on her inability to quickly adapt to new technology. She felt like a complete idiot, felt an urge to throw things at Jaime, never to speak to him again. She wavered around point 5 for a few seconds, wondering whether to read on or to brandish this list at him and confront him with the rest, but curiosity and the need to know how far he was willing to go with this, prodded her to dig through the rest of it.

_6\. When she smiles while talking to him, prepare in advance for any catastrophe that might follow, for it could mean he’s probably planning to ask her out—_

But—

Brienne halted there. Why would Jaime think that? Whatever she’d once felt for Renly was gone for long, and he was no more a friend than Tyrion or Bronn. She didn’t know whether to sigh at Jaime’s ignorance or lash out at him for this childishness, such pettiness to get the better of the man he couldn’t tolerate. He’d assumed she and Renly— 

But then what did he know? Did he even bother to find out? To ask? Ever since she’d met him, her heart had taken a turn, heading someplace there was no return from. He’d never know it wasn’t Renly but—

She and Jaime could never happen. For him, it had to be someone pretty, someone who could match up to his ex, Cersei, in every aspect.

And she was not even close.

Not wanting to dwell on it, she went back to the scribble on the sheet. 

_—switch off her phone and hide it somewhere she can’t find it,_ the risk mitigation plan for the so-called impending catastrophe said. _She’ll keep searching and searching and when she gives up, when she forgets Renly and his stupid phone calls, let the phone reappear. Tell her you just happened to ‘find it’ while cleaning._

She grit her teeth. Hide her phone. Of course. What else would a forty year old with the mind of a twelve year old resort to?

_7\. A follow-up gift this time is the trouble-maker, the pair of shoes she’s been craving delivered to her without any occasion, gifted by none other than you-know-who, the one-you-can’t-stand-the-thought-of. No, you can do nothing this time. Just—just try not to sulk and let it pass. Be a man. You can handle this._

Her frustration and irritation taking a back-seat for just a brief moment, she went back to how he’d confined himself to his room like a moody adolescent that day, carefully avoiding her, not speaking to her for hours, frowning at her shoes like they’d done him great wrong.

_8\. The worst has passed and it is time. Summon your courage and just do it._

Brienne frowned at it, but that was the end of the page. That was all point number 8 said. “But do what?”

“Flip it over.”

Jolted out of her world, Brienne wheeled around, the prank-filled sheet still in her hands. “Jaime—” Anger and irritation at how he’d manipulated her bubbled up her chest, took the form of words. “What the hell is this? You lied to me—”

“Brienne—” 

“You can’t just sabotage my phone and cancel my meetings. You even went through my damn messages—” when she had to halt for breath, she recalled how he’d concluded the ultimate “—you went too far, reading too much into those causal calls that were nothing fluffy or romantic or—”

“I apologize, wench, I agree I did go overboard—”

“You targeted the wrong man,” she cried, her frustration that he didn’t return her feelings making it to her voice, her eyes. “I don’t have a crush on Renly anymore. If you thought so, if you based all these cheap tricks on a stupid stupid assumption—” 

“Will you please read it till the end?” he cut her gently, talking one tentative step at a time towards her. “Just once—points 9 and 10. Read it out aloud.”

Despite wanting to continue hitting him with her glare, she returned to the awful list.

 _“9. Hope Brienne forgives you for all this.”_ She stopped, lurking on that line for a bit, then wondering if this was an extension of his pranks, slowly went on. _“If she does, those astonishing blue eyes will soften—”_

“I think I have my answer there,” he whispered, reaching for her hand as his eyes met hers. “Go on.”

_“—If—if she feels the same for you, her chin will quiver, her lips will shiver a bit—”_

Gulping down whatever sat smug in her throat, Brienne looked up, her fingers trembling loosely around the paper, her involuntary reaction exactly the same as he’d predicted. 

_Not Cersei, but—_

She couldn’t believe this was all coming together. It felt so real, yet, it felt like she was floating away in a dream. “Jaime—”

She forgot what she was about to say when she caught him looking at her in a way he’d never done before, when his voice had a depth she’d never come across before. “Read the last one, Brienne.”

 _“10. And if you’re lucky—”_ choked, she blinked back her emotions and put the sheet away, the rest of the sentence clinging firmly to her mind _“—if she blinks profusely and looks at you like you mean the world to her—”_

“—I get to kiss her,” he concluded it for her, his arms going around her waist.

Brienne melted into his embrace. “Do it then. Finish everything in the list.”

When he did kiss her, he gave it all to her—what he couldn’t put to words. When he kissed her, his lips, his tongue—they mingled with hers like this was the delicious close to a journey they’d both embarked on separately, their paths different, but destination the same. When he kissed her, the world, for that tiny bright moment, ceased to be the hell it had been for months. 

And when he stopped kissing her, she craved for him all over again.

“You could’ve just said how you felt instead of compiling this whole checklist,” she complained, looking back on everything she’d had to endure thanks to his jealous intervention. “Instead of devising such evil plans.”

“Sorry,” he whispered sheepishly, then leaned to capture her lips again. “Jealousy blinded me, I guess.”

“You just happened to _accidentally_ leave this lying around?” She remembered coming across the unassuming looking sheet of paper many times, but paying it no attention.

He nodded. “For days. Hoping you’d find it sooner than later.” He smiled the way he usually did when he had a trick up his sleeve. “I almost forgot—” he grabbed the paper again and thrust it in her hand “—there’s a P.S. Read it aloud.”

“ _For ten things to do to the wench once you’ve won her over, refer list 2._ ” The butterflies in her stomach floated up to her chest. A pleasurable throbbing building between her legs, she looked up in question, in anticipation. “List 2?”

His eyes darkening, Jaime fished out another folded sheet from his pocket. “Something best left to the confines of the bedroom.”

Wriggling out of his arms, she took his hand to lead the way in. “I can’t wait.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Jaime's mean and Renly is a target for no fault of his... but, all's fair in love and war :)  
> Thank you so much for reading!


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